Having successfully conned her addle-brained mother into thinking all is forgiven, Chastity Bono has devised an evil lesbian plot to strip away the last vestiges of Cher's dignity--whatever is left after one too many sessions of nip tuck and Cher's one woman revival of Sixties fashion mistakes.
Apparently, Chastity has convinced our sadly lost diva, that the ex-gay reparative therapy attack that Cher dumped on her just out daughter is forgotten and forgiven. She's also convinced her that despite the fact that TV reality shows are to Divas what water is to wicked witches (think Paula and Whitney), it's time for Cher to put retirement aside and humiliate herself on national TV.
I predict this new show will last for about as long as any one of us can stare at a horrific train wreck--or until Chastity mistakes her mother for a midnight snack. In either case, you stare until the blood, guts and body parts make you shiver, shudder and turn away in disgust.
According to spin being pumped out by mommy dearest's publicists, Cher and Chastity have at long last put aside the years of bitterness over the gay thing and are now joining forces to save closeted queers.
The new show's premise has mommy the midnight snack and her daughter, Bruce Vilanch starring as celebrity counselor's to those struggling to find the courage to admit to their parents that they are gay.
Coming Out With Cher And Chas, according to Cher herself, will be 'as big as The Osbournes."
So in case you were thinking that Cher will be fondly and lovingly remembered for a long string of great songs and an Oscar, think again.
Perhaps the most ironic twist in this twisted story is that Cher struggled for years to keep her daughter's homosexuality a dark secret because she, Cher, believed that having an out lesbian daughter would damage her career. Cher feared that her predominantly queer audience would reject her for raising a homosexual.
Stupid or delusional? You decide. Or maybe one too many botox needles into the face?
Cher. Cher. Cher. Is this really necessary? Can't you leave me with my wonderful memories of Sonny & Cher, Moonstruck and the 30 some odd farewell tours? I believed Cher. Please don't do this! I believe, I always have. Don't take that away from me.