HOLY CRAP

Having successfully conned her addle-brained mother into thinking all is forgiven, Chastity Bono has devised an evil lesbian plot to strip away the last vestiges of Cher's dignity--whatever is left after one too many sessions of nip tuck and Cher's one woman revival of Sixties fashion mistakes.

Apparently, Chastity has convinced our sadly lost diva, that the ex-gay reparative therapy attack that Cher dumped on her just out daughter is forgotten and forgiven.  She's also convinced her that despite the fact that TV reality shows are to Divas what water is to wicked witches (think Paula and Whitney), it's time for Cher to put retirement aside and humiliate herself on national TV.

I predict this new show will last for about as long as any one of us can stare at a horrific train wreck--or until Chastity mistakes her mother for a midnight snack.  In either case, you stare until the blood, guts and body parts make you shiver, shudder and turn away in disgust.

According to spin being pumped out by mommy dearest's publicists, Cher and Chastity have at long last put aside the years of bitterness over the gay thing and are now joining forces to save closeted queers.

The new show's premise has mommy the midnight snack and her daughter, Bruce Vilanch starring as celebrity counselor's to those struggling to find the courage to admit to their parents that they are gay.

Coming Out With Cher And Chas, according to Cher herself, will be 'as big as The Osbournes."

So in case you were thinking that Cher will be fondly and lovingly remembered for a long string of great songs and an Oscar, think again.

Perhaps the most ironic twist in this twisted story is that Cher struggled for years to keep her daughter's homosexuality a dark secret because she, Cher, believed that having an out lesbian daughter would damage her career.  Cher feared that her predominantly queer audience would reject her for raising a homosexual.

Stupid or delusional?  You decide.  Or maybe one too many botox needles into the face?

Cher. Cher. Cher.  Is this really necessary?  Can't you leave me with my wonderful memories of Sonny & Cher,  Moonstruck and the 30 some odd farewell tours?  I believed Cher.  Please don't do this!  I believe, I always have.  Don't take that away from me.

Comments

[roni]

Well...obviously this is not a web site intended to be complimentary in nature! You're definitely entitled to your opinion--too bad you have to be so rude expressing it! True Cher fans hope she and Chas have put the past behind AND hope their show will be a big success. I for one won't miss ANY opportunity to see Cher on tv.

[Phil Costa]

Obviously the person who wrote this bull crap doesn't know the first thing about journalism. Before you write something, get your facts straight. You sound like a typical closeted queen being jealous of someone elses life you wish you had. The only way you can survive is by trying to hurt someone else. But don't worry. You can't hurt Cher. She has had to handle more harsher put downs than what's coming from you. Your writing is just meaningless. Why aol even posted it is beyond me. But for the record so next time when you try to write something you'll print the truth, not you self-hatefullness garbage. Cher and Chastity have gotten over this gay stuff years ago. Not just recently. They are very close. So next time, print the truth.

[Joe Bua]

Did Cher run over your dog? Shoot your best friend? Create a rift in the space/time continuum under your house?

Dude, Chastity got past it, I think it might be time for you to as well.

My father suggested therapy, too, but he came around and realized that he was suffering from straight parent panic.

Isn't there a chance that Cher came around as well?

Well, whatever ... I don't watch reality TV anyway (except when the guys are hot, have you seen Temptation Island Australia on the Fox Reality Channel? Those guys were steaming!