I know this is a silly story, but I just had to post it. It kind of made my morning.
The indomitable and ever reliable Dutch have chosen the verb "swaffelen" as the word of the year. Swaffelen earned 57 percent of the 16,000 votes on the website hosted by Van Dale Publishers, renowned for its authoritative dictionaries.
Are you ready?
Hint: "Swaffelen" is something only men can do.
Swaffelen means "to swing one's penis, making it bump against something, in order to stimulate either oneself or someone else." The swaffelen craze has resulted in Dutch men all over the world swinging and swaying to stimulate their penises against their shorts and pants.
Dutch lexicologist Ton den Boon says that etymologically, "swaffelen" is thought to be connected to the Dutch equivalents of "swing", "sway" and "sweep", as well as to German "Schwaf" and "Schweif": tail or penis. There is also a Flemish dialect word, "zwaffelen".
The word gained notoriety through a video posted on YouTube, in which a Dutch student got arrested for "swaffling" against the Taj Mahal in India.
Today, the esteemed Dutch nation has decided the Swaffelen is the best new word of 2008.
Voters did not have to justify their choice, so it remains a mystery why the Dutch chose this word. Numbers two and three were "wiiën" (playing on a Wii game console) and "bankendomino" (banks falling over like dominoes). The elections are a joint initiative of Van Dale, De Pers daily newspaper and the Netherlands language society Onze Taal.
In honor of the Dutch, I'm going to spend a good part of the holiday, eating chocolate, arranging tulips and swaffling. I would urge you to do the same!
Oh, how the world has changed! When I was 12 and your penis rubbed against your pants in a public place, fear and embarrassment would set in, school books piled on your lap. Today, we swing and harden in celebration of the mighty cock! Hallelujah and praise the Dutch!