California Christians are reaching new and rapturous heights of stupidity as they fight to stop Governor Schwarzenegger from signing a bill saluting Harvey Milk, the nation's first openly gay elected official who was assassinated in 1978.
Harvey Milk Day legislation was firmly passed by both houses of the California state legislature and would become the first official day of recognition for an openly gay man in these United States. I say "openly" since the jury remains out on both George Washington and Abraham Lincoln.
Christians are going berserk deluging the governor with thousands of phone calls, e-mails and faxes. Veto! Veto! Veto!
While the attempt to stop Milk Day is no surprise, even I am surprised by the reasons.
Looking at the celebratory rituals that mark other holidays: the trees and lights of Christmas, the red tsunami of Valentine's, the Denny's extravaganza on Mother's Day and the costumes and trick or treating of Halloween, the Christians have rightly concluded that Californians, including school children will be encouraged to celebrate Harvey Milk Day with cross dressing, gay pride parades on school campuses, gay orgies in the streets of California communities up and down the length of the state, mock gay weddings and mass conversion of young impressionable children to the homosexual lifestyle.
It is truly a terrifying prospect!
While the day of recognition would impose no specific requirements on schools or close state offices, Christians believe the tribute could encourage discussion of Milk and gay issues in public schools. State law encourages schools to observe days of recognition and “conduct suitable commemorative exercises.”
And what might those commemorative exercises be? Kindergartners forced to engage in games of tag while wearing Manola Blahnik pumps?
“The bill is so broad it could encompass all kinds of things,” said Randy Thomasson, president of SaveCalifornia.com, who has been active in opposing same-sex marriage in the state. "There is no prohibition of what the bill calls ‘suitable commemorative exercises.’ The sky’s the limit.”
Will little old ladies from Pasadena go on a crazed rug munching frenzies?
Will suburban children run from house to house spooging on front doors?
So far, the governor’s automated phone line for constituents has received more than 100,000 calls opposing the bill, according to Schwarzenegger’s office.
Schwarzenegger has not indicated whether he will sign the Milk measure, but he vetoed a version of it last year, arguing that the man it saluted ought to be commemorated in the San Francisco Bay Area, where he lived and worked.
Though there has been no suggestion of a change of heart by the governor, the bill’s author, State Senator Mark Leno, who represents part of San Francisco and other sections of the Bay Area, said he believed that Milk’s profile had grown significantly since the last go-round. Mr. Leno pointed to the Oscar-winning film about Milk and the fact that Mr. Schwarzenegger and his wife, Maria Shriver, recently decided to induct him into the California Hall of Fame. “I am very hopeful,” Mr. Leno said.
In the meantime, one can assume that California entrepreneurs are furiously stocking up on size 14 pumps, kegs of poppers and cock-shaped Pinatas as gays and holiday-crazed school children gear up for Harvey Milk Day celebrations!