For those of you who have the good fortune to have blocked the name of Dr. Bill Maier from your memory, I will remind you that he's the resident "medical" expert over at James Dobson's Focus on the Family, one of those nasty groups that spends most of its time trying to destroy our lives.
But fortunately for queers, Dr. Maier also hates abortion, sex and, well, anything 
that he believes might slow down the rapture express, so he's not a full time homophobe and is often otherwise engaged in ruining lives other than ours.
Well, FDA approval of the morning after pill has temporarily diverted him from the abomination of homosexuality and put him back on the scent of sinful breeder sex.
Of course Dr. Maier fears that approval of the morning after pill will seduce Christian teens into promiscuity. But of even more import, Dr. Maier has launched a press campaign to remind us that the morning after pill is the least of our troubles.
The real issue these days is teens and "Christian sex." "Christian sex," he laments, "is a real tragedy. Christian parents should be very concerned."
In fact, according to Dr. Maier, at least 50 percent of America's 11-to-15-year-olds are engaging in Christian sex. What is it, you ask?
It's what the rest of us call oral sex, and 50 percent of 11-to-15 year old American teens, according to Dr. Maier, are routinely performing fellatio and cunnilingus because they believe that it is not sex.
Maier reminds us that as we crusade against the morning after pill and intercourse, we mustn't forget to use the pulpit to rail against blow jobs and rug munching.
One Christian sex expert explained that "A lot of churches are afraid to talk about it[blow jobs and rug munching]."
The fact is that many Christian teens believe that as long as they abstain from vaginal penetration, they are chaste and pure and living in the light of Jesus.
Hey, anyone want to come over to my place for some Christian sex?
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