IT'S OFFICIAL

 

It's official. I've lost my mind.  For real.  I've also just become a really annoying sex partner.  Some guys brings emotional baggage to bed, I bring my camera.

I was pretty sure that at this age I'd run the course on all potential sexual fetishes.  Again, I was wrong.  So wrong.

Take it from a man just beginning his 7th decade of life, every time you think it's over, it ain't.

I truly believed that I had exhausted the possibilities.

But truth be told, I have an insatiable imagination and a yet to be satisfied libido; and while I'm planning retirement, they're planning trouble.

Back in my more limber days, I went through a phase that involved an almost scientific study of male same-sex fetishism.   I even explored other people's fetishes always intrigued by the possibility of finding at least a kernel of arousal within myself.  Sometimes I succeeded spectacularly, sometimes the result was mediocre and sometimes it just left me cold.

One time I thought I would love it and I threw up.  Another time I thought I would throw up but I loved it.

And that brings us to the saga of simultaneous fetishes--which was the golden age of my fetish phase.

Gary T, one of New York's most successful escorts back in the mid-90s, was also known to many of his peers as the frugal hooker.  Gary lived on a subsistence level income, saving virtually every sou, peso and cent he pulled in.

   

Gary kept strict office hours, working four days a week and on Saturdays.  On work days, Gary would turn as many as seven tricks per day, many of whom were regulars. His bookkeeping and scheduling systems were worthy of Price Waterhouse.

Anyhow, it's the scheduling part you need to care about.

Gary had a five year plan, stuck to it no matter what, and today Gary runs a thriving construction business in his hometown of Dallas.  Oddly enough, Gary and I never had sex with each other.  Well, not exactly.

We met one morning in 1993 over brunch at poolside at the Raleigh Hotel in South Beach.  Equally organized and anal, we caught each other rearranging the restaurant's table settings--and for the same reason.

We were both annoyed that our friends hadn't yet dragged their asses out of bed and had turned to the relaxing art and curative powers of bringing order and balance to the ordinary world in an attempt to control our tempers.  Recognizing this family value in each other, we connected and quickly went from scowling and eating alone to laughing and eating together.  We became and remain very good friends.

As I said, Gary and I never "technically" had sex together.  However....

One night over dinner, Gary, as was his habit, shared a very intriguing story.  He had just come from one of his favorite regulars.  Gary loved this guy.  The scene required no nudity, no sex and was over in about 20 minutes.  And for it all Gary would walk away with the extraordinarily high fee of $400 (1993 dollars). We spent an hour discussing the possible origins of this particular scene or fetish. It fascinated us, but neither one of us could find anything within ourselves that allowed us to relate to the client's "need" or the source of arousal.

This frustrated me greatly because I was accustomed to looking deep within myself and always finding some tease or hint of arousal, no matter how small, that would allow me to relate to the other person's libido and the why behind almost any fetish.  This one had me stumped--and as you've likely noticed about me, I don't like stumped. I don't do well with stumped.  I need answers and I need them yesterday.

Gary would enter his client's apartment, but never further than the beginning of a very long entrance hall.  Just inside the door, Gary would find a large sack of oranges and $400 in cash.  At the other end of the hallway, about 20 feet away, the client would be standing completely naked.  Gary's job was to pelt him as hard as possible with oranges until the bag was empty, pocket the four Benjamins and leave.

   

Gary and I spent hours trying to figure this one out.  One night, the client called from the office and asked Gary if he wouldn't mind bringing the required sack of oranges himself; the client was in a rush and likely wouldn't have the time to shop for oranges.

Gary couldn't find enough oranges so he bought a bag of tangerines. The client let Gary keep the money, but canceled the session. Had to be oranges.

Somehow, this conversation led to a rather eccentric and kinky (?) plan.  Gary and I decided to explore the psychology of festishes in a rather unusual way.  In as much as possible, considering our other scheduling needs, when Gary was summoned by a client to execute some interesting fetish, he would immediately call me.  I would then hire an escort of my own to live out the exact same fetish "synchronous" with Gary and his client.  Whatever Gary was doing to his client, my escort would do the same thing to me.  And then Gary and I would compare notes on how he felt doing it and how I felt having it done to me.  Admittedly, there were some things neither one of us would do, but that was only about 10% of the time.  Over a course of almost six months, I attempted a range of fetishes, some of which I had certainly heard of but had never tired, others that were completely new to me.

I cannot express in words just how much fun this proved to be for both of us.

In an attempt to be as clinically accurate as possible in our findings, we also felt that synchronicity and simultaneity were both critical to the study protocol.  And since the frugal hooker maintained strict rules when it came to scheduling, it was reasonably possible to synchronize our orgasms despite the fact that we might be blocks apart.

I knew when I would have to cum and organized myself accordingly.  If I knew I was going to be in a situation where I couldn't control that for one reason or another, I would instruct my escort to make sure that he got me off at a very specific time.  Sometimes I would "tip" extra for this but the promised tip could only be earned if the orgasm was delivered at the appointed time, give or take a few seconds.

Having achieved orgasm, Gary and I would immediately call each other, announce that the eagles had landed and then hook up for a drink at either a bar or at one of our apartments to compare notes and explore each others libidos.

We weren't always successful of course.

There were two reasons for this.

The first was that sometimes the fetish would make me laugh and I just couldn't get aroused. Second, sometimes the fetish was so fucking hot, that I would turn off my phone and extend the session for an extra hour or two.  Gary knew when he called that if I didn't answer, the latter had occurred.

Gary and I became a little addicted to this game; and, I suppose, in a way, it became it's own fetish.  And, of course, as is the way with boys, we eventually grew bored with the game. However, to end the game with a bang, I mean a very big bang, we set a goal for ourselves.  Four way simultaneous orgasm via Verizon.

This required some degree of cooperation from Gary's client and my escort.  Both were amused and amenable.  We all agreed on a specific time, who would take the lead, who was better at "control" and then we achieved, for lack of a better sexual term, the Verizon bang.

Our speaker phones survived.

Over the years, I caught up with a few stragglers, fetishes that Gary and I had overlooked but all in all my taste for novel fetishes waned some years ago.

It's been many years since something new caught my libido by surprise.

Until this week.

So I have a new habit; I'd like to say a new hobby.  Just like stamp collecting only stickier.  Much stickier.  Word to the wise:  keep the lube far away from your digital camera.

Now this is very different from videotaped sex.  Been there, done that.  Videotapes record, in this the camera participates.

So there I am I'm doing one of my artistic photo sessions being all artsy and dignified when my model, apparently a bear loving bottom, asks me just how hairy I am under that t-shirt.

"Extremely," I respond somewhat indifferently, focused on my work.

Brandon, his name, pushes me back into the bed, yanks down my pants and in between a succession of "...yummies...me likey bears..." he ambushes my penis with his scruffy face.

I started to abandon the camera on my nightstand....but then...I thought...if embedded CNN and AP journalists in Iraq can keep the cameras rolling under fire, so can I.

It worked too well.

Now I have a new obsession--even worse than Twinkies and milk.

Brandon loved it.  I loved it.  I'm addicted.  It's official. I'm now in a menage a trois with my digital camera.  Fortunately, the camera is as gay as it's owner.  See, the evangelicals were right.  First gay marriage and now a sexual relationship with optical equipment.

This might seem simple to you. Not so.  It was hot but it was challenging.

I expect it will take many attempts before I've mastered this fetish, but based on just one session, here are my first set of top ten tips for those of you who want to try photographing your sex partner during actual sex:

1. Find someone who thinks bursts of flash lighting are erotic--in a Mr. Demille, I'm ready for my close-up kind of way.
2. Make sure you have a camera with that anti-jiggly feature.
3. Instruct your partner to aim away from the lens, please. 
4. The zoom lens is not for penetration, optically or digitally.
5. It's not the mega-pixels, it's the composition.
6. Only try this at home.
7. Keep your hands dry; Aqualube is not Nikon-friendly.
8. Expect surprise penetrations and mountings when your focus is on the LCD screen. (This is one of those moments when that anti-jiggly feature comes in handy.)
9. Beware of dogs who love to be photographed.
10. The automatic Red Eye feature does not work on cum.

I hope you've enjoyed the fruits of my first venture into this new fetish.  I expect it will take me a few more months of experimentation before I'm fully satisfied with the result.  I hope you'll be patient with me until I get it just right.

Comments

[Bruno]

Fuckin hot,
the first actual look like real sex photos yet!
keep it up!

[Chris]

I have to get back in the shower now. Thanks

[Alexander]

I think I speak for everyone Richard, when I say we are enjoying your new "hobby" as much as you are.

[Alan down in Florida]

Sorry Alexander, I think Richard is enjoying it a lot more than we are and if not we need to get better lives.

My question to you Richard is how important is knowing that the photos taken will be posted on the blog for our voyeuristic pleasure as opposed to their being solely a memento of a sexual encounter to the experience of the photo taking?

RR: Interesting questions. While it's fun to post these on the blog, the real pleasure is in the moment, in the process, the voyeuristic intimacy of slowing down and seeing the action through the lens...it's both doing and observing. It was intense.

[vincent in Ireland]

Ok....this has been an unexpected turn of events....your partner is hot....quite gorgeous and yummy! I never thought your exposés would include such intimate experiences or reflections on past arrangements.

I too wondered re the why...what etc of this experiment with the blog. I admire and adore the honesty of it...but wonder...what is next?

Vincent...x

[chamblee54]

"we also felt that synchronicity and simultaneity were both critical to the study protocol."
I have a friend who is intrigued by the concept of synchronicity. Now I learn about simultaneity.
Cameras do work well as menage a troisters. Don't be surprised if a lot of the pictures are useless. It is not the destination but the journey.
I am so glad the election is over, so we can focus...or point and shoot...on what is really important.

[Greg]

Je l'aime bien.

[Andrew]

Pelting oranges huh? After seeing a commercial for 5 gum "stimulate your senses." I wonder just how stimulating oranges or tangerines can be? Aphrodisiac? Check out the commercial to see what I mean.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt6PnGmk1Hk

I'm 22 and already looking for fetishes. lol. Here is another one of the commercials. Maybe it will give somebody an idea for a fetish.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bCjPP7liZCA

RR COMMENTS: I'M UP FOR IT, IF YOU'RE WILLING TO CLEAN UP THE BALL BEARINGS AFTER WE CUM.