Proceed at your own risk

FEBRUARY BELONGS TO YOUR PENIS

Be honest with yourself.

You brutalize your penis.

Mercilessly.

The makers of Mens Max Penis Skin Care Products are doing something about it and have declared February as Penis Skin Care Awareness Month.

So whip it out fellas, February belongs to your dick.  Pamper it.  Love it.  Give it the Mens Max skin care regime that it so richly deserves.

"When you consider a man's private part can be exposed to latex condoms, lubricants, and spermicides like nonoxynol 9 it is not hard to understand that these chemicals can damage the skin on the penis.", Michael Dugan, President of Mens Max explains.

"Normal sexual activity can add friction and heat which can also be rough on the skin. We developed RestoreMax as an answer to help heal, restore, and renew those skin cells, and it is important to us to raise awareness that a man needs to pay close attention to the skin on that part of his body."

Just like all skin, as a man gets older, the cells that make up the penile epidermis do not hold as much moisture as they used to. The skin can become wrinkled, dry, cracked, chafed, and rough. The moisturizers in RestoreMax re-hydrate the skin cells and help restore the skin of the penis at the cellular level.

MensMax.com is launching a print and radio campaign to raise awareness for Penis Skin Care during the month of February. "Most people pay attention to the skin on all different parts of their body, but they often ignore their most private area.",  says Penis expert Dugan.  "We are getting the word out in February on radio and in print that it is important for men to pay attention to penis skin care."

The skin is the body's largest organ. It spans from head to toe, but taking care of it is not necessarily the same from head to toe. Elbows, feet, facial skin, and even the penis require different treatment options. RestoreMax from MensMax.com offers one option for the skin on the penis.

"Many men worry about their size when it is the health of their penis that matters so much more. No matter how large you might be, if the skin doesn't feel right, it won't work right.", Dugan stated. "Most men probably never think about taking special care of the skin on their penis, but they should. There are creams, lotions, and special formulas to moisturize, heal, and restore the skin on your face, hands, feet, and almost every other part of your body, but not the penis."

MensMax identified the need for penis skin care and has launched, RestoreMax, a revolutionary skin care cream containing special ingredients to help improve the texture, elasticity, and sensitivity of the skin on the penis.

So if you do nothing else this February, at  least be kind to your penis.  Set aside 15 minutes a day during the month of February to gently and conscientiously rub cream up and down the shaft of your penis. I know. It's time consuming, but you somebody has got to do it and who has better access than you?

IF ONLY I COULD WALK IN HER SHOES

Don't lie to yourself.  You'd trade in a meth crazed night as a Dallas Cowboys locker room sex slave if you could spend even one hour in Carrie Bradshaw's shoes.  Who knows why?  Who cares? You just would.

Well, come this February you can walk arm in arm with the Samanthas, Mirandas and Charlottes in your life, strutting past the trendy shops of Manhattan's Meat Packing District, snarling at the trannies and eying the male models in your very own Manolo's for Men.

Never mind that they're hideous and would make you look like the ugly hate child of Perez Hilton and  Amy Winehouse, accidentally conceived though anal sex (Perez in the bottom position) in a Hollywood Internet Cafe tucked behind a free rehab clinic.

Vogue--as much in touch with reality as most of you--reports that after an absence of seven years on the menswear scene, Carrie Bradshaw's beloved Manolo Blahnik has dusted off his sketchbook - and created "a line of men's shoes so fabulous, they are pretty much guaranteed to knock your man's socks off. The six-piece collection runs the gamut from safely stunning (the red suede Oxford brogue), to the outrageously gorgeous (in the shape of leopard print sandal, Bir). "It's not a big collection," reflects the designer.  "There are some simple sandals in beautiful materials, and a few classics--with a twist.  I thought it was time to bring back some colour into the male wardrobe."

Welcome to Carrie's world.

Yes my little Dorothy's; just click these heels together three times in a row and you'll be magically transported to Sex And The City.

GAYEST SHOPPING SPREE IN HISTORY?

Sometimes I fear that more than anything else, my competitive nature will be the death of me.  I have a friend, we'll call him "KH" who believes himself to be the gayest man on earth.   This really pisses me off. 

It is true that he will resort to behavior that I won't even remotely consider, like dressing up as the mayor of Munchkin Town just for the hell of it,.  But, I write that off to really bad taste, not gayness.

Overall, I may not win the war, but I'd like to think that on some days I win the occasional battle.  Today, for example, I went shopping.  Please consider my purchases and then let me know: who is gayer than me, at least for today?

So first, I bought this T-shirt for reasons I need not explain.

And then I bought a new carpet for the bedroom, also for reasons I need not explain.  The rug measures 8'2'' x 8'2'' / 250 cm x 250 cm--something about that size seemed just right, not too small, not too big, but just right.

The rug was irresistible.  The artist, Roberto Majan of Spain produces luxurious carpets with extraordinary fine art that is also outrageously pornographic.  I'm old enough now so that anyone in my family who would have a heart attack to find this carpet in my home, is already dead.  This particular piece is from a series of truly beautiful, delightful and perversely filthy queer porn--and I mean queer to the Nth degree and then some.

If you visit the website,  it takes a few moments to realize that the artist has delivered a series of paintings depicting men and women in every sexual combination imaginable, including a couple that would have Rick Santorum nodding his head in a fit of "I told you so!" 

Next I realized that I also needed to replace my wireless cell phone headset which seemed to have been crushed during the Friday night rush.  I could not resist the new Dolce & Gabbana Motorola H700 which appears to have all the latest state of the art features.  And it's Dolce & Gabbana, a Dolce & Gabbana wireless cell phone headset.  The Devil may wear Prada, but I've got D&G rammed in my ear.

 

Finally, all that shopping made my mouse explode, so here's my new one.

So? I ask you?  What's the verdict?  Who is gayer than moi, aujourd'hui?  KH, eat my fairy dust.